To whom much is given, much is expected. (Luke 12:48)
This scripture has always spoken deeply to me, guiding the spirit behind me sharing, “His Secret Sexual Basement”. In my journey through various ministries for over 15 years, I’ve often been blessed with invaluable resources. And with these blessings, I believe, comes a responsibility to share them, so they may touch and transform other lives.
Dr. Omar Minwalla
In recent years, I stumbled upon the following detailed PDF addressing this concern. It’s titled: The Secret Sexual Basement: The Traumatic Impacts of Deceptive Sexuality on the Intimate Partner and Relationship by Dr. Omar Minwalla. And while the document might be extensive, you may find it easier to gain clarity by listening to the three accompanying podcast interviews below, which offer significant insight.
Helping Couples Heal
The trio of podcast interviews by “Helping Couples Heal” (Marnie and Duane), featuring Dr. Omar Minwalla, are well done. In his groundbreaking white paper, “The Secret Sexual Basement”, he bravely uncovers a type of domestic abuse termed deceptive sexuality. More than just spotlighting the challenges of sexual addiction, he dives into the profound emotional and psychological trauma caused by leading a secret sexual life. He describes this as an “integrity abuse disorder”. It’s a must-listen, offering profound insights into an issue that’s been veiled in shadows for too long.
At the end end of this post, you’ll find testimonials from “Helping Couples Heal” that I hope will be a beacon of hope, validation, and healing for many.
Part One
Dr. Minwalla explores the impact of emotional and psychological abuse in the context of betrayal trauma and explains how this kind of abuse is part of a larger problem that he calls an “integrity abuse disorder”. https://helpingcouplesheal.com/understanding-betrayal-with-dr-omar-minwalla-part-one/
Part Two
Part Three
https://helpingcouplesheal.com/understanding-betrayal-with-dr-omar-minwalla-part-three/
Furthermore, you’ll discover a comprehensive survival/healing guide, offering practical steps and strategies to support you on your path to healing and empowerment, available here at my blog: https://www.pattyklochko.com/healing-from-within-overcoming-the-scars-of-betrayal/
Fr. Dennis
And then there was a moment that really opened my eyes. During a homily, Fr. Dennis—a visiting priest from South America who travels all over the world—shared something that truly stunned me. He said that pornography has become the most frequently confessed sin in the Catholic Church today. I remember sitting there thinking, Wow… this is bigger than most people realize. His message was clear: this isn’t just a private struggle people deal with quietly. It’s a global issue affecting countless souls, and it’s happening all around us.
Testimonials from the “Helping Couples Heal” podcast website:
- I feel more validated and seen than I have for years. This is life-saving and life-changing. Thank you for putting a name and words into my life experience. Alas, help is available.
- I want to just say that your podcast could possibly be what saves my marriage. It’s definitely launched the right attitude in me for reconciliation.
- I’ve been listening to this podcast for over a year now and I simply cannot say enough about the amount of knowledge I’ve gained from each and every episode! I hope that these two brilliant therapists keep picking the brains of the most recent researchers so that listeners across the world can benefit from the healing information out there.
- I’ve been binge listening since finding this podcast. So much good and helpful information. I wish these people had been my therapists since the beginning. I must now grieve decades of unhelpful therapy. Thank you for making this podcast!
In closing, I know sharing these insights isn’t always easy, but I truly hope something here gave you clarity or comfort. My heart is simply to offer perspective and support as you navigate your own healing journey.
Helping women heal,
Patty Klochko
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Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor. I share insights and resources from personal ministry experience and trusted professionals to help you feel less alone and more equipped in your healing journey. If you are experiencing betrayal trauma, I strongly encourage you to reach out to a trauma-informed therapist, support group, or one of the trusted healing resources listed above—or search for help in your local area.